Darwen widow's blog helps her deal with grief

MEMORIES Yvette and John Paul on their wedding day. Tragically, ten months later, John Paul was found dead.

MEMORIES Yvette and John Paul on their wedding day. Tragically, ten months later, John Paul was found dead.

First published in News Blackburn Citizen: Photograph of the Author by , Reporter

A DARWEN woman, whose world ‘fell apart’ when her husband of just 10 months was found dead, has found a new way to deal with her grief – by writing a blog.

Yvette Fleming lost her husband John Paul Brighty in May.

The 40-year-old dry liner had been found dead on his bedroom floor by his stepson, Jamie, 23.

Yvette paid tribute to her husband in the Lancashire Telegraph, and said on the back of that she was approached by a magazine who wanted to write her story.

She said: “I talked to some mates who told me not to do it, and suggested I do a blog instead.

“I had never done anything like it before so I thought I would give it a go.”

Yvette, of Harwood Street, who works with homeless teenagers for Barnardos, set up her blog, ‘Always look on the Brighty side of life’, in June.

It has been viewed more than 2,500 times by people all over the world, including America, Australia, France, Canada and the United Arab Emirates.

She said: “Lots of people talk about death and I read many things people had written and it is all so sad.

“It saddens me that people struggle so much.”

Yvette said she wanted her blog to be light-hearted, as that was what her late husband would have wanted.

She said: “John Paul wasn’t a sad person and I feel it would be disrespectful to be sad all the time.

“That isn’t what he would want me to be. He would want me to be happy and to have a laugh.”

Yvette’s blog can be read at yvettebetsy.blogspot. co.uk.

From Yvette’s blog on Friday, June 15:

“What do you do? Well apparently you have lots of cups of coffee. As more people came into the house more cups of coffee were made.
  “As soon as someone new turned up, everyone would jump to their feet and put the kettle on just for the need for something to do, some role to play in the unfolding drama.
  “The phrase of the day became: ‘Are you all right, do you want a brew?’ and this was always delivered with the head tilted slightly to one side.
  “At one point I had four cups lined up in front of me and I think during that time time we kept our local dairy going on the amount of milk we went through. There was a constant stream of people coming in, some going upstairs to see Brighty, to try and see for themselves what they had heard.
  “Others just couldn’t, they would see the sorrow in the room and would freeze.
  “I remember thinking that I should have worked on developing a ticket system, like the ones they used to have in the supermarkets at the meat counter. ‘Number 18, you can go up now.’
  “The other thing that bothered me, apart from the fact that Brighty was now corpse-like on his way to the morgue, was that I hadn’t tidied up, and I think i said: ‘Well, if I’d have known that he was going to die, I’d have made more of an effort with the house’.”

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