There are three signs that you are slowly ageing. There comes a point in your life when your kid is cleverer than you.

This is officially the age when you have ‘passed it’. You are no longer the one in control of the situation and you are now simply a bystander.

Up until this point you had thought you were the master of your domain, and you were in fact in some sort of control.

I think this week I realised that my kid, who is aged nine, is now officially cleverer than me.

The kid has more brains and now works out complex problems which I struggle with.

This, I would say is the beginning of the end for people my age.

At a certain age you begin to accept that you are in fact turning into someone else.

The second sign you are beginning to age has much to do with the amount of time you begin to check the radiators.

I think I am obsessed with wanting to know if a radiator is fully hot or not.

This need to check the radiators has become something of a pastime. Years went by and I never cared about the radiators.

Now, I must check them religiously every single day. Sometimes I check them several times in an hour.

The key one uses to release air from radiators is my favourite tool. If I lose this key I will drive to the nearest store to buy a new one.

Finally, and this is a sure sign that you have indeed ‘passed it, is the need to wake up to see who has moved the bin.

The bin man … sorry refuse collector is emptying my bin but then leaving it several yards down the road.

I have yet to catch him in the act. I either get up too early and go to make a cup of tea, thus missing him or wake up too late.

You empty the bin and leave it outside the house. Why the need to leave it all the way down the street?

Why should I have to walk around looking for my bin?

Let battle commence.