There comes a time in everyone’s life when one must attempt to cook a pot roast.

My time has come. Over Christmas I tend to have more time on my hands than normal.

What better way to fill that time than to attempt something spectacular.

I have to say, cookery programmes do not help whatsoever. I sense most people who watch these programmes do not actually cook anything.

I have one friend who is addicted to these programmes and never misses an episode but once the show finishes he is off to his local takeaway to order himself a chicken kebab on naan bread with extra garlic and chilli sauce.

I got told that cooking a pot roast and any sort of chicken requires a bit of skill. Not any Thomas, Richard or Harold can do it.

I think those people who say this just don’t want a man to succeed at something he should not.

I also got told you can’t stuff a pot roast. But then Google came to my rescue and taught me how.

And yes you can stuff a chicken if you want.

There are a number of serious issues one has to contend with when attempting to cook a big meal.

And none of them have anything to do with the cooking.

Firstly, do I want people around me when I am cooking to correct me and guide me? Probably not.

There is nothing worse than having someone tell you the obvious and take credit for it later… ‘He was going to do the foxtrot with the chicken until I told him it might affect the flavour.’ Secondly, who should I invite to this grand meal?

Should it be people I know will be polite enough to eat what’s given to them?

And what if those people there come out with smart comments about how the food could have been better?

And thirdly, should I have a set of excuses prepared?

Of course I will be banking on the ‘he’s just a bloke’ excuse but I sense it might not cut the mustard these days.

Then again it is worth a try.