Why Secret Cinema really doesn't need to be a 'secret' anymore

Secret Cinema used to live up to its name – it used to be a secret. But somewhere along the way to becoming the “immersive experience” titan it is today, that’s all changed.

From the start I want to make it abundantly clear that I’m not one of those hipster-types (in the truest sense of the word) announcing to the world that they “loved Secret Cinema when no one knew about it, y’know when it was good”. In fact I wouldn’t even call myself a massive Secret Cinema fan, the first one I went to being in 2011 – when people definitely did know about it.

But the most fun element for me at those early(ish) screenings was not knowing which film you were going to see. It was like piecing together a puzzle, from the wording of your registration email, to the costumes of the actors at the initial “secret checkpoint”, and the set design when you finally arrived. The clues built up, and it was exciting.

Nowadays that couldn’t be further from the truth. Exhibit A: The Secret Cinema website’s homepage.

Of course you could argue that the whole “build up the clues” idea doesn’t work for Star Wars anyway since there are just too many instantly recognisable points of reference (once you see your first Stormtrooper the game’s surely up). But that argument didn’t apply to last year’s Back To The Future screening, where a simple 1950s theme could have maintained the mystery.

No, the reason (presumably) that the identity of these films is so readily publicised is because they’re incredibly popular and Secret Cinema want to draw in the punters. But more tickets sold equals more money, and more money means bigger, flashier events. So that’s alright, yes?

Not really. Having witnessed the sets and set-pieces from both Back To The Future and now Star Wars (which, it has to be said, were both done really well), as far as excitement was concerned none of it topped that itching mystery of not knowing what the film was going to be. In fact, the screening itself has become somewhat of a tag-on sideshow to the rest of the event.

How ‘secret’ can you keep a Star Wars set?

Let’s face it, it’s not hard to guess what any of these “secret sets” are going to look like once you know what the film is. The replica of 1950s Hill Valley from Back To The Future was entirely predictable – if impressive in its scale.

Trying to avoid any big plot spoilers, the Star Wars event had a similar predictability. You know you’re seeing The Empire Strikes Back, so you’re limited to about four possible settings: the desert markets of Tatooine, the ice planet Hoth, Yoda’s Degobah swamp, or the Death Star. Then you’ve just got to think which of those gives Secret Cinema the best options for flogging you loads of food…

You also know (especially if you’ve been to previous screenings) that they’re bound to throw in a load of classic characters and probably a few props and vehicles.

‘Top secret location’

So the film is no longer a secret, and (via some brief deduction) neither really is the set. But the physical location in London does remain a secret – but why?

Frankly, knowing the secret rendezvous (never more specific than the nearest Tube station) doesn’t ever affect the overall experience. Because it’s always in a warehouse or some other big industrial space! Any of the screenings could have been set in literally any area of London, and knowing the location would have given you zero clues about the event or film.

Selfies for profit?

Which brings us onto my theory as to why all this “secrecy” guff limps on today. Remember, the secret involves handing in “all electronic devices” – by which the organisers mean your smartphone and (more importantly) the camera built into it.

The official reason: To preserve the “wow” factor for people attending a later showing. You wouldn’t want to ruin it for everyone else would you? That would be selfish.

But that’s not the whole reason is it? Because increasingly with Secret Cinema it feels like it’s all about the money. By banning camera phones they’re basically turning people’s feverish desire for selfies into yet more profit by charging for official photography. And after succumbing to the monopoly of food (and even water!) that Secret Cinema has at its events, I just wasn’t buying.

Furthermore, having seen the Star Wars “wow” factor, I’m afraid to say that it’s hardly very unexpected. Yes, if I’d accidentally stumbled across the “big reveal” on Twitter my reaction would have been anger – not at the spoiler-happy tweeter, but that this was all that my £70 ticket had paid for.

If Secret Cinema screens another of these big-name films in the future, they might want to consider ditching the whole secrecy thing altogether. Let people take selfies, let them film vines – hell, maybe even let them bring in their own water! Alternatively why not include these basics (memories and hydration) in the ticket price? Because the more it feels like Secret Cinema have us over a profit-making barrel, the more it erodes that old feeling of the organisers just wanting to show you a cool film in a cool way – rather than just take your money.