With Jeremy Clarkson’s time at the BBC finally at an end, we’ve earmarked a few different career trajectories for an outspoken bloke’s bloke who can’t keep his knuckles to himself.

1. Documentaries (y’know, about machines and olden-day wars)

Brunel recreation
Passions expressed in Clarkson’s past documentaries include, among other things, Victorian engineering (Chris Ison/PA)

A pretty straightforward, non-controversial career shift for Clarkson. He’s done some cracking pieces on subjects ranging from Isambard Kingdom Brunel to a history of Speed (the way he pronounces it, we assume Clarkson always capitalises “speed”).

This would be a gentle way for the out-of-favour presenter to broadcast into his twlight years.

2. Professional rent-a-gob

Alternatively Jezza could go the other way and get even more outspoken and bombastic. We can imagine him as a kind of male version of Katie Hopkins, denouncing Scottish people and the unemployed. After all, isn’t TV dead and social media the future?

3. Farmer

Solar farm
Not this kind of farmer though (Tim Ireland/PA)

Not as odd as this sounds at first. For a man who loves fossil fuels and red meat, Clarkson’s also very fond of the good life. In fact, a recent article for the Mail Online has linked Clarkson to a new farming show. Watch this space…

4. Celebrity Big Brother

Jim Davidson
(Ian West/PA)

Inexplicably beloved TV personality, up to their neck in controversy, goes on the agoraphobic reality show as a big name contender and brings their reputation back from the brink. Are we talking about Clarkson of 2016? Or Jim Davidson of 2014…?

CBB would be a sure-fire way for Jezza to get back into his stride, and possibly meet a few glamour models and recovering American actors recently out of rehab.

5. Prize-fighting champion of the world

Floyd Mayweather
(John Locher/AP)

Step aside Floyd Mayweather, because not even Apollo Creed would stand a chance in the ring with Jezza if there was a “hot steak” on the line.

Jeremy “Powaaaaahhhh” Clarkson could finally find gainful employment in an industry where propelling your fist towards another man’s face is not seen as unreasonable.

6. The Stig

The Stig
There’s always been room for more than one Stig (David Parry/PA)

Having been unmasked a few times now, the identity of the Stig is surely up for grabs? It would be a way for the BBC to keep Clarkson connected with the show while saving face with those pesky members of the public who think walloping someone is indisputably grounds for contract termination.

Then, once it’s all blown over, they’ll stage a surprise reveal in a few seasons’ time and everything will be forgiven. The new Stig’s physique might be a bit of a give-away though…

7. The Banker in Deal Or No Deal

Noel Edmonds
Is Noel Edmonds Jezza’s new James May? (PA)

Another anonymous TV personality who has recently been unmasked, Clarkson could tide himself over with a stint at the other end of Noel Edmonds’ phone.

We reckon Jezza’s got enough dollar to fund the high-stakes game show. Whether he’ll get on board with Noel’s spiritualist outlook on the world is another matter…

8. Ukip candidate for Witney

David Cameron
David Cameron is currently MP for Witney, but that could change… (Steve Parsons/PA)

If you line up all of Ukip’s politically incorrect gaffes alongside all of Clarkson’s, it is often depressingly difficult to differentiate between the two. With his small “c” conservative credentials and gift of the gab, Jezza’s membership would be a windfall for the Kippers.

The thing is, we’re not sure Clarkson actually believes half the things he says (especially now he’s being linked with a farming show). And if he were to stand in his home constituency of Witney he’d be going toe to toe with bezzie mate and current prime minister David Cameron.